Did you know that James Nguyen directed two movies before Birdemic? They were called Julie and Jack, and Replica.
Although one might argue that Replica could also be called Red Flags: The Movie or Don’t Sleep With That Guy!
Joe is given a new lease on life via a new (cloned) kidney. He decides that he is in love with his doctor. He makes a pass at her during her follow-up phone call. She turns him down. He “accidentally” runs into her as she is out jogging. He makes a pass at her. She turns him down. He follows her in his car, and they have a conversation. He makes another pass at her. She turns him down again, as he follows her in his car. He calls her at her office…. Eventually he wears her down and they start dating. She is His Girlfriend.
They sleep together. She is immediately killed the next day in a hit-and-run accident. A detective with terrible people skills begins to investigate her death. This is really only relevant so he can show up at the end and shoot the bad guy.
Joe is out walking and sees a woman who reminds him a lot of Dead Girlfriend. They talk. He follows her to her hotel room. He talks his way into seeing her later. They start dating. He asks her to wear her hair more like Dead Girlfriend. He asks her to dress more like Dead Girlfriend. He occasionally calls her the same name as Dead Girlfriend.
At roughly the 90% mark of the movie, Joe discovers that New Girlfriend has a piece of jewelry that he gave to Dead Girlfriend.
It turns out, New Girlfriend is an illegal clone of Dead Girlfriend. They immediately rush off to confront the bad guy, and destroy his laboratory of illegal cloning equipment.
It turns out that the bad guy doesn’t think of himself as a bad guy (“Before I kill you both, let me tell you my plans for humanity”). He has Ideas about how the problems of society can be solved via cloning. Illness or injury? Clone new body parts. Murder? Clone the dead person. Handwave past the mind transfer. Racism? Clone a new (cough white) version of the same person so that they will no longer experience the racism. At this point, the handwaving is so strong it might lead to a new ice age.
The bad guy is about to shoot Joe and New Girlfriend, but the detective shows up and shoots the bad guy. But the bad guy’s gun goes off and he shoots New Girlfriend anyway. She dies, and Joe Is Sad.
The most frustrating thing about this movie, besides the plot, and the bad audio, and the agonizing acting, is the bird. I have to assume that it’s James Nguyen’s personal bird. There are several scenes that start with a shot of the bird in its cage in Joe’s house, then zoom out to show what is actually happening in the movie. So it affects the pacing. And it is a noisy little thing. It chirps over and around the dialogue. Turn the volume up so you can hear the (purported) acting, and the bird blows out your speakers. The bird contributes nothing to the movie. It isn’t plot-relevant or symbolic. It’s just intrusive. In many ways, it’s representative of the entire movie, that James Nguyen gives Joe — and us — the bird.