If I tell you that the 3-D sequel to the 3-D movie Piranha 3-D is called Piranha 3DD, that will tell you a lot. Will there be gratuitous naked women? Indeed there will. Will there be a lot of swarming fish attacking the innocent and the guilty alike? Absolutely. Will there be random things that fly directly toward the camera? Ah, but of course. How about a guest appearance by David Hasselhoff as himself? Why not? Will there be a scene where a piranha bites a guy’s penis and won’t let go? That is a strangely specific guess, but yes, yes there will.
I’m not sure when our theme transitioned from ‘Injury to Eye’ to ‘Injury to Penis,’ but this is maybe the sixth film I’ve watched in the past two years where a penis is bitten, bitten off, or otherwise disrespected. Don’t worry, however — there is also Injury to Eye in this movie. And a lot of Insult to Eye.
Maddy comes back to her family’s water park to find that her step-dad, Chet, is reinventing it as a strip club / water park. She is attacked by aggressive piranha. She talks to a scientist from the first movie who tells her that these piranha live in underground lakes and streams. She discovers that Chet bored an illegal well and is pumping water for the park from an underground lake. She insists that he stop, but he won’t. It’s the Grand Opening of The Big Wet!
That’s it. That’s the entire plot. The rest of the movie is people making out or being attacked by piranha. And/or. The most amusing scenes are and/or.