I want to start with the title card, which makes it look like somebody involved in Brøderbund’s Print Shop got very excited about Blood Sisters of Lesbian Sin.
And there were, indeed, blood sisters. Was there lesbian sin? Not on camera. Is this movie in any way problematic? Oh gosh. Let me start at the beginning …
Our movie is set in Golgotha County. A dark ritual is about to take place. There’s only one way to stop it! A random local splits “The Hellstone” into three pieces, and rapes the virgin priestess of Asmodeus. That’s right … Random Redneck Rapist is the good guy here!
The priestess of Asmodeus gives birth to three girls (of course), and the bulk of the movie takes place 25ish years later. This information is given to our hero, Johnny Blake. He is a monk who has been tasked with eradicating this evil. He must face off against the three Blood Sisters: Sister Avarice, Sister Anger, and Sister Lust (because the writer apparently couldn’t think of a term for Arousal that started with the letter A).
Johnny is over-specialized against the supernatural. He is weak to the mundane. Sister Avarice saves him from being beaten to death. Sister Anger drugs him. There are stripteases at Sister Lust’s. So. Many. Stripteases. No one can save him from the stripteases. No one can save us!
In the end, Redneck Rapist Dad saves the world again (without raping anyone this time).
I leave you with my favorite dialogue exchange in this movie:
“I’ll be damned.”
“Afraid so.”