Apex Predators is not a fifteen-minute movie. But it is fifteen minutes’ worth of movie. The rest is “atmospheric” — beach shots, a dolphin show, some waverunner shenanigans, two impromptu music videos, some very well done underwater footage (which per the credits is from Shutterstock), opening credits, and closing credits.
I think our hero is a guy with a Bulgarian girlfriend and a vindictive ex-girlfriend. Or maybe it’s the police investigator trying to track a series of mysterious beach disturbances (Is it a serial killer? Is it a shark?). It is absolutely not the owner of the new beach resort that is about to open. It is also not the “scientist” (well … she wears a lab coat) played by Brinke Stevens.
Does anyone in this movie use the term “apex predator” at any point? They do not. Does the police investigator change clothes at his car in the parking lot — in case things get messy? Yes, he does. Is there a fever dream ending so nonsensical that you should skip the entire movie and just watch the last 90 seconds? 90 seconds is generous.
Even if you ignore the fact that scenes don’t logically connect to each other, and most characters never interact … no, it’s still not worth watching this movie. Although my biggest problem was that the song “Apex Predator” from the Mean Girls musical kept going through my head the whole time I was watching this movie, and it was far more compelling.