I know you’ve been waiting. Patiently … ish.

The Zoom link for tonight’s CMP 7 show is:

[ removed since the show is over ]

Please remember that the waiting room is mandatory. No one will be let in before 6:30 PM. Also, no one will be let in before we have the Zoom audio working satisfactorily (which is the reason why sometimes the show starts on “Michigan time” rather than right at 7).

How can you tell an early David DeCoteau film from a late one? The early DeCoteau movies have more topless women than topless men. This is an early DeCoteau.

Maggie’s brother is killed, so she is allowed time off from her prison sentence to attend the funeral. She escapes the minder that the prison sent to keep track of her.

With the help of her boyfriend, she intends to track down and destroy the people who killed her brother and his girlfriend. It’s fairly by-the-numbers (is anyone surprised that her brother’s preppy friends with the circa-1988-car-phone are responsible?), although her verbally-abusive stepfather is just that little extra touch of evil beyond what this movie’s tropes require.

The best scene in Lady Avenger involves a flamethrower … and some avenging. But I think it’s safe to say that Maggie is no lady.

This is just your casual one-week reminder that

CMP 7
will occur on
Saturday, April 18
at
7 PM Eastern
in
Room 1800, Chemistry Building on the U of M Campus
930 N University Ave, Ann Arbor, MI

…and will also be viewable via Zoom.

Ninja Assassin is a perfectly competent movie if you can successfully squint and ignore the whole “secret clan of ninjas operating covertly in the modern world” premise. But I know that isn’t what you really want to know. The answer to your question is: yes.

Yes, there is an assassin who is also a ninja.

Yes, there are people attempting to kill our protagonist, knowing he is a ninja.

The movie features ninja assassins and also ninja assassins.

There is even a ninja assignation in the backstory.

Ninja assassin assignation.

Which resulted in death.

Ninja assassin assignation assassination.

If we consider the secret clan of ninjas as a nation, you might say there was a

ninja nation assassin assignation assassination.

But you shouldn’t, because that would be inaccurate.

Take a “my dad was killed in the ring and I must seek revenge” movie, make the protagonist about ten years old, dial the maudlin up to eleven, and you’ve got Thunder Ninja Kids Little Kickboxer.

The best part of the movie is when little Joey takes his young friend Gloria out to an amusement park. That part is cute and doesn’t have a wildly-overbearing soundtrack. There is a parade and nobody has any angst.

Skip this one and go see a different Thunder Ninja Kids movie. Or maybe read a nice book instead.