Fatal Games was a film that raised a lot of questions. Why did so many kids do their extra athletic practice after school in the dark? Why did the filmmakers think that we want to “watch” a killer wearing dark clothes creep around in the dark? Are there no functioning light switches in the building? How did they manage to make “death by javelin” boring? How did they manage to make “death by javelin” boring multiple times? How old are these kids supposed to be anyway?

No, seriously. There’s a lot of flesh on display in the locker room scenes, and these kids are supposed to be taking classes. I feel like these characters are not necessarily 18. For every one who has a boyfriend in San Francisco, or is sleeping with her swim coach, there’s another one who needs her parents’ permission to continue attending this private athletic academy. It gives me a bit of the 1980s-vintage creeps.

The eventual revelation of the killer was one of the stupidest and most transphobic things I’ve seen in a long time, so I am happy to leave this one in the dustbin. No more questions.

Here is the list of movies that was shown at UCON this year. Some of them will undoubtedly make it to the final CMP show. But others may not.

For those whose memory is as sacred as a colander — very holey.

Assassin 33 A.D.
Battle Drone
Beyond the Door III
Blood Dolls
Deathstalker IV: Match of Titans
Detroit Driller Killer
Dinosaurus!
Empire of the Spiritual Ninja
The Gate 2: Trespassers
Midnight Cop
Ministry of Vengeance
Mr. Deathman
Ninja Knight Thunder Fox
Ouija Shark
Puppet Master: Axis of Evil
Red: Werewolf Hunter
Santa Jaws
Sixteen Tongues
Star Troopers
Star Worms II: Attack of the Pleasure Pods
The Sword and the Sorcerer
The Time Machine (I Found at a Yardsale)

Here are the Google sheet links for voting!

One sheet per category…. just as DB Cooper intended!

[ a lone parachute sways atop a tree, empty of passenger ]

These links have been vanished after the show ended, also just as DB Cooper intended.

Here it is!

[ removed, as the show is over ]

Links to the Google sheets for voting will pop up later in the day.

Remember that the show is tonight (Nov 15), starting at 6 PM Eastern. We are unlikely to let anyone into the waiting room earlier than 30 minutes ahead of time.

If you are there, you might partake of some Werewolf Howls flavor Polar seltzer. If you are not there … then you’re on your own for the werewolf stuff.

As the leaves turn yellow and fall onto my driveway, and the spooky Halloween movies segue into killer turkey movies … U-CON is coming soon! Which means the CMP Primary at U-CON is coming!

When: Saturday, November 15, starting at 6 PM EDT
Where: U-CON, of course! At Eaglecrest, Auditorium 1
Where else: We will be streaming to Zoom. URL the day of.
Why: Why questions are hard.