It begins with seven previews, two of which are for the movie I’m about to watch. Thirteen minutes later, the movie actually starts.
Our main character is named James Kirk, but takes care to explain that he isn’t that James Kirk, rather his parents were big fans.
Five minutes of James popping into a scene, running into something, telling his computer, “No — still coming in too hot. Let’s try again,” and vanishing.
Five.
Minutes.
At one point, his suit starts to smoke. The computer reminds him that it’s an outdated model of time suit. That is the only consequence.
“Getting better. Try again.” Various years flash across the scene, as James “time jumps” between indistinguishable eras. At the end, he asks the computer how many time jumps it took to calibrate. “106,” the computer says. “Only felt like about ten,” James says, but I beg to differ. I felt those 106 time jumps in my soul.
There was a virus and it made people violent and stupid. And also somehow James’ wife was killed. And there is a bit with an alternate reality version of him replacing his boss. But just one more time jump, and he can fix it!
Wildly incoherent.
The effects are inconsistent. Some of them are very nice, and others made me wince because they’re so rudimentary.
Solar radiation — from the sun — made the virus harmless. Or did it? The President weighs in. And the head of NASA. There are a lot of random authority figures popping in and out of this movie. Police officers. A psychiatrist.
Did I mention “Wildly incoherent”?
James is good at changing the past, but bad at changing it in ways that he wants. He finds himself showing up just a little bit too late to save his wife’s life. Why does that keep happening? The computer is the one who controls the time jumps, and it has its own ideas of how to fix the time stream. It also scolds James for taking time to eat a piece of discarded pizza from a box sitting on a random hotel room bed. James’ opinion: “there’s always time for pizza.”
Finally, a sentiment I agree with.
At the end of the movie, James has everything fixed. And it only took 186 time jumps! Well … there is one little thing that he could correct….
Which is why the movie is called 187 Times.
Amy didn’t watch the movie, but her comment was “You know how shooting a sitting duck is unsporting? Well in this case, the duck is falling-down-drunk, wing draped over a bottle of Wild Turkey.”